We often think about coaching in terms of what we want to achieve.
A promotion.
A career change.
Better leadership.
More confidence.
A difficult decision.
A sense of direction.
And these are all perfectly valid reasons to seek a coach.
But there is another question I think we should ask before we begin:
Are you ready to be coached?
I don't mean ready because you have everything figured out. If you did, you probably wouldn't be looking for a coach.
I don't mean emotionally composed, completely confident or even particularly clear about what you want.
Sometimes the people who come to coaching are anything but those things.
They may be confused. Angry. Frustrated. Exhausted. Stuck.
Sometimes they simply know that something isn't quite right, but they can't yet put their finger on what it is.
And that is okay.
Because coaching is not about arriving with all the answers.
It is about being willing to explore the questions.
Sometimes the tears come
More often than not, it's not a big drama or a dramatic collapse, but an accumulation.
A person might start talking about their team and completely unexpectedly find themselves talking about something else.
They might tell a story about someone they love and realize they're actually saying they're lonely, or feel empty, or don't understand.
They might begin all business, all strategy, all competence, until the cracks appear and they find themselves letting their guard down, and that's when the tears start.
It's not weak to feel this way.
It's human.
It's what it means to be alive.
Sometimes we just need to let it out.
Sometimes we need someone to sit with us.
Sometimes there is a heavy silence, a quiet knowing, a space that lets whatever is underneath surface. And it is completely okay to cry.
None of this means that something has gone wrong.
In fact, it is a sign that something important has finally been given permission to surface.
The goalposts can move
The other thing I find fascinating about coaching is that the reason you think you came for is rarely the reason you stay for.
You might arrive wanting to work on a specific issue: a difficult relationship with your boss.
Or the fact that you are so exhausted and tired of feeling as if your career is taking everything and giving back very little.
You might think all you need is help making a decision.
And that's fine. We will address that. But almost always, coaching reveals something deeper.
You might discover that the relationship with your boss is really about your own struggle with authority, or your own need for approval, or a habit of accommodating others at your own expense.
Things start to move. That's the beauty of this work. It's a journey.
You cannot predict where it will go. And that is a good thing. If we stayed fixed on the original goal, we would miss the real learning.
And the real learning is always about how to live more fully.
In the end.
Coaching works best when you are open to letting the goalposts move.
But this requires trust
There is something deeply vulnerable about allowing yourself to be seen in the room like that.
Which is why the relationship between a coach and a client matters so much.
As a coach, it's not my job to judge you, fix you, or tell you what to do.
My job is to hold a space for you that is safe, confidential, and completely yours. A space in which you can drop the mask you wear out there in the world.
The competence.
The ambition.
The title.
The armor.
Even a small slice.
To bring more of you to yourself, and not perform. Just be.
A space where you can be uncertain.
A space where no one is judging you. There is no one to tell you what you should be.
Only someone who is listening deeply to your patterns, your language, and your life.
Only someone who is willing to ask the hard questions, to gently challenge your assumptions, and to walk alongside you as you discover what is true for you. That requires trust on both sides.
You don't need to have it all together
So perhaps being ready for coaching doesn't mean being ready to change everything.
It simply means being ready to be honest.
Ready to be curious.
To pause, allow for perspective, and open up a space where something new can begin to emerge.
Ready to acknowledge that perhaps the story you have been telling yourself about who you are is only part of the story.
And that is entirely fine, for what you will discover:
It's okay to slow down and hold the space.
It's okay to feel whatever it is you feel.
It's okay to be a beginner at what you've never been taught, and what you've never seen.
But ultimately, the work belongs to you.
No coach has the answers for your life.
I have tools, I have insights.
I have a heart that cares.
I have a lot of empathy.
I have a deep reverence for the client and my responsibility with you for that hour.
That is all you'll find here when we work together.
So that if you are in a state of confusion, chaos, uncertainty...
Let's walk that path.
Let's peel back the layers and take it further.
Because the answer is often found in the quiet places. A space where you are seen and listened to, with no judgment and no rush.
Because we are worthy of that. The work is yours, the life is yours, and you are far more capable than you know.
It was within us all along.
Warmly,
Haya